Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Being Displaced

What's one easy way for me to tell that I'm growing older? I actually get homesick now.

Ever since I was born, (with the exception, for the most part, of the summer after I graduated from high school) I have not spent a single summer at home. Every summer from the age of seven until I was seventeen, I have gone to at least one summer camp, if not two. The other parts of the summer were spent either travelling or at the home my grandparents would rent for the summer in the Poconos. I was home maybe for two weeks after school let out and two weeks before school started again.

And you know what? I loved it. I loved not being home for the summer - sure, as I grew older, I was upset about not seeing my friends, but I grew used to it and accepted that I would spend the summer away while they all got to stay home and enjoy each other's company without the pressure of schoolwork. I loved being able to do and learn new things at summer camp, see new places, go swimming, and not be stuck in a house in the suburbs with absolutely nothing to do. At least I could be stuck with nothing to do in the Poconos, where there was a lake. I needed time away from the suburbs so that by the time summer was finally over, I didn't mind being there so much.

But now that I've gone off to college, I don't live at home for ten straight months. And while at college I have enough to keep me busy that I don't often miss home, spending the majority of my summer an ocean away hits a little hard sometimes. I wouldn't trade my experiences studying abroad for the summer for the world, but sometimes it hits me that I miss home. I miss my friends that I left behind, I miss my dog, and I miss not having to worry about the fact that everything is slightly more expensive since it's in Euros. I even feel a little displaced, because I don't really have a permanent home right now, especially since my parents have moved. I have my parents' house and my dorm room, but my parents' house is no longer the house I grew up in and my dorm room is only stable for a school year, before I move out again.

I'll admit I think too much about my life objectively, where I'm living and how it pertains to how I feel at the current moment, but it was nice being a kid. Being so glad to be out of the house for two months and not missing a single moment of it. Now I kind of wish I had a stable home that I knew I would be coming back to. I guess now that I'm growing up I just have to make my own home.

1 comment:

  1. "Home" will have many places and memories when you're lucky enough to live in multiple places. Just make sure to check in with your family and good friends often - I find that no matter where I live, that's the thing that matters more.

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